Break Down
by Kiku Nakamura
Summary: Something was wrong with Shade. Everyone was asking Fine why that was happening. She knew, but what if she wasn't right. It wasn't like she wanted to; she actually hoped it wasn't happening to her. What if it was? Fine was pushed past her breaking point and if Shade didn't tell her, she would ask him herself. Major FxS and minor RxS.
1. Chapter 1

**Break Down**

By: Kiku Nakamura

Summary: Something was wrong with Shade. Everyone was asking Fine why that was happening. She knew, but what if she wasn't right. It wasn't like she wanted to; she actually hoped it wasn't happening to her. What if it was? Fine was pushed past her breaking point and if Shade didn't tell her, she would ask him herself. Major FxS and minor RxS.

Fine:

His eyes looked aimlessly at a book. He was on the couch reading about the process of creating Japanese teas. He was like that a lot lately. He's always thinking about something. He never tells me about it though. He just shrugs it off. The guys have been asking me the same thing: What's with him? Another thing is also bothering me. HE seems to always stare at one thing or person, in this case.

He's my boyfriend, Shade. His eyes are mesmerizing. Shade is a cool, but hot-heading, and loving kind of guy. We have arguments all the time. Sometimes it's about such ridiculous things; I can't even remember. For a while, that hasn't been happening.

This isn't him though. Sure, it's always him and his thoughts, but it's starting to get to me. He's different these days. I just can't deal with it any longer. I'm too curious and he's too thoughtful. He doesn't want to worry me with what he's not telling me, but ironically, this is worrying me even more. I'm going to ask. I _have _to.

I have a hunch. I really hope it isn't true. If it was, I don't know what I would do. It's a terrible thought, but not entirely impossible. That's what scares me. I'm having doubts.

I leaned down on the couch so I could rest my arm on top of the couch and turned to face him. Slowly, I asked him _the_ question. "What have you been thinking about recently?"

"Nothing, why do you ask?" he simply replied.

"Don't lie. You have that face on again. You're guilty," I said. "I'm your girlfriend. Is there really something you can't tell me?" My eyes were filled with a hurt expression. I really was.

"That's exactly why I can't tell you!" He yelled back. His blue eyes glared into my red ones.

"Oh really, is it because you're ashamed, huh? Is it?!" I shrieked. Our eyes locked onto each others.

"What's gotten into you?" That's all he said. He didn't even answer my question. That's what freaked me out. I was hoping this wasn't reality. I knew it was because my fists were clenched and my fingernails digged into my palm. I didn't know what I should feel. Angry? Sad? Betrayed? I don't know.

I slowly opened my fists and covered my face leaving my eyes out. No, this isn't happening.

"You like Rein don't you?" I asked, my throat both sounding and feeling tight.

"What are you talking about, Fine? I like you!" He said in distress.

Did he think he was good at lying? I certainly didn't. There was a glint of an apology in his eyes. He turned away and wouldn't look me in the face. I was outraged.

"Are you kidding me?" I screamed. I wasn't looking for answer; I knew the answer. "Really, after three years then you admit it? Shade, _three years_!"

"I'm sorry, Fine. I don't mean to do this to you." Oh so now I get a sorry. I always hated that word when it was directed at me. He did something wrong.

"I don't want to hear it!" I yelled, "I liked you, loved you even!" Then in a hushed tone I said, "and I still do."

Shade was going to open his mouth to say something, but I beat him to it. "Of course, why didn't I know? You still didn't let go. I should have known. Why would anyone like me?"

"I do like you," he said. Why does he still have the nerve to say such lies? They're so fake. That is impossible.

"Rein is Rein! She's pretty She's girly, but still fearless in her own way." I found Shade nodding to every word about Rein I said. "Why did I believe? I'm not pretty. I'm just a tomboy who is full of fears."

I felt a sting notifying me of coming tears. I knew they would flood my face. I tried to push them back from my eyes. I bit down on my lower lip.

"You are perfect yourself," Shade argued. Even if I was, he wouldn't love me for that.

"I've seen the way you always stole glances at her in middle school. I knew, but I kept on wishing. Until you said it, I wouldn't give up," I looked at him. I couldn't bring myself to hate this boy. "You would ask Rein something while I spoke. You would say 'Hey, Rein," _and then_ 'Hi, Fine'" These were all just simple clues.

"I did like her, but I realized you're the one that my feelings were for."

"Yeah and those feelings changed again." I spat. "Your feelings for Rein were directed at me because she started dating Bright. I'm just a replacement in your eyes!" I screamed. I felt my eyes start to water and a few tears were starting to fall slowly down my cheeks.

"Stop it, Fine! You know that it's not true. You aren't Rein's replacement." He didn't even try to sound convincing. I think he was trying to tell that to himself, not me.

"No, Shade. You stop lying to yourself! That _is_ all that I am." At this point of the argument, I would have Shade comfort me. One of our defenses would break. Not today, today it was not going to happen. I saw all the tears land on the backs of my hands. Fine, get yourself together, I told myself. I couldn't.

I really do love Shade. It hurt so bad to know that he loved my sister. She was my twin so I would just be looked upon as a phony. I didn't try to be her, but as her twin, we were the closest to being the same. He had to know that we weren't the same.

I cannot endure this anymore. I ran to the door, turned the knob and just made my way to no where. I just kept moving. I didn't know where I was. All I knew was that the wind was slapping at my face and my feet moving without my brain knowing.

When I opened my eyes, I realized where I was. It was my elementary school's playground. It brought back a comforting feeling. There was a secluded area where willows hung over benches. I loved this place.

I sat down on one of the benches and just wept. I didn't care anymore. I looked at the back of the bench were cold metal was pressed against my arm. On a small plaque it quoted Emily Brontë's Wuthering Heights, "He was always, always on my mind."

I guessed the school decided to choose quotes of classics to put up as a reminder of the amazing works of literature.

I looked past the bench and saw the mural of my graduation classes of that year signed. Since then, everyone signed it as a gift to the school and a way to say good bye. It was a tradition that I began. Layers upon layers of paint and multi-colored Sharpie were piled on the wall.

I walked to the wall of signatures. I looked for my name. I spotted it, the pink squiggles on the wall. Blue was next to it, Shade's name. I stared at it. If my eyes shifted just a bit over to the side, I would see Rein. Permanently, he was next to her. I heard screaming. It took me a moment to realize that the source of the sound was me. I felt a strong pair of arm circle around my waist. As soon as I screamed, cold fingers were clamped over my mouth. My first instinct was to bite the hand, so I did.

"Ow!" it screamed. I recognized that voice. It was just the person I was getting away from.

"Get away from me!"

"Why are you running away?" "

Why do you need to know?"

"Why can't I know? I'm your boyfriend for God's sake!"

"Then act like it." I wasn't going to just give up without a fight.

"I do."

"No, you don't. It's not how you feel; it's how _I _am supposed to feel. I'm your girlfriend, but I feel like I'm just a pile of crap. Keep your bull away from my ears!"

"Fine, I love you," he said.

I hesitated. I don't know what I was supposed to do. My knees went weak and I just buried my face into Shade's shirt and cried.

"It's okay. I'm right here," he hushed. What about your heart? Is it here too? I thought.

I believed him though. When I woke up in the morning, I could solve it all then.

* * *

Author's Note:

So I totally loved this one-shot. I hadn't did one of those in a while. As for all my _That Year and A Half_ followers, it isn't going to be up until a bit later. I can't even promise that it'll be up this month.

Anyways if you have the time I humbly ask you to review this. Also I really want to have several reviews for my Percy Jackson and the Olympians story "Beat the Summer Heat". I really would appreciate it. I will let you live your life now.

I better sleep earlier tonight. I have my State Test and need rest. I bid farewell to you for now.

Signed,

~xxxKikuNakamura


	2. Announcement

Hey guys, I know this isn't a chapter for anything. I just wanted to say that I'm happy with all the reviews that I'm getting for this story. This is just a brief announcement. I'll leave your lives once I finish saying this. I'm not asking for much.

If this story gets up to at least 15 reviews, I'll post a new chapter. Ai Sakura, I know it didn't quite feel complete to me either. I wasn't gonna continue but with all the support that I'm getting, I just might be able to fit in another chapter.

I'm not asking for much just a one word reply. Thanks!

Signed,

Kiku Nakamura


	3. Chapter 2

Break Down Part 2

By: Kiku Nakamura

* * *

**Fine:**

I woke up in the morning to hear the robins outside of my bed room window chirping. The wind was also loud today. I just wanted to continue sleeping though. When I had closed my eyes again, the memory of the light I saw was burned to the back of my eyelids. Even sleeping wasn't a valid option!

Swinging my feet over the mattress so that they reached the floor, I got out of bed. Walking down the unlit hall was like going through a child's playhouse after dark. That just screamed scary, not to mention the howling wind outside. Maybe this just was a warning to tell me about what might happen later.

I picked up a few snacks -yes, that means two handfuls of candy, chocolate, and sweets- and stood at the entryway of the living room. Just as I had thought, Shade was sitting on the arm chair. Hovering near was all that I could do. I just wasn't able to bring myself to go near without risking tears.

It was treacherous. If I looked from afar, he was an angel, but up close he was a horrible monster, a devil. He was like a rose, beautiful, but when you went near, its thorns would make you bleed. I can't have him toy with my heart. I need to move on if he says he has to go.

Curiosity fluttered in my brain and hope in my heart. I wasn't expecting a happy reunion, but more of a sweet disaster. How could I left my walls of ice down? I couldn't, but he might.

As I drew close, I took in a deep breath, munched on a Hershey's bar, and continued forwards. Shade turned his head to face me. I dropped all of my food on the coffee table and turned around. His eyes were on mine. It was blue on red. I tried to look into the depths of his irises. I wanted to pull out the secrets that they held. Lately, he had something that he wasn't telling me. I really don't know if I wanted to know. We stared intently at each other.

I tried to embrace the lack of sound in the room, but thunder outside had made me jump. The robins had stopped singing a while ago. The calm before the storm had ended. I needed to break the tension building in the air like electricity.

I was lost and I desperately needed help finding my way back to shore. A lifeline would be thrown down if I talked to Shade. That is, if only everything reverted to normal. My reverie had been stopped short as I realized I had just ran up to my boyfriend and hugged him. _Stupid reflexes_, I chided my fright-prone self.

Shade rested his head above my own as he mumbled "It's okay," into my hair. This had happened a whole lot lately. His strong arms held me tight. I listened to his heartbeat for a while. Pushing him away, I immediately felt cold and missed the warmth.

I forced my head up to look at him again. It probably wasn't evident to others, but I saw hurt in his eyes. A stab of guilt had threatened to push me to the floor. I held my ground and refused to let it take me. I did not want to be weak, not in front of Shade now- or ever.

"Shade, we need to talk."

"I understand. Just don't run off. That's what happened the last time we talked," Shade said trying to ease the atmosphere a bit.

"Technically, that was the time before that.

"Trying to get technical now, are we?"

"Yes and DO NOT come near me," I said as he advanced towards me. It was a cat and mouse chase. I ran as fast as I could before I was tackled me to the ground in the hallway. I looked up at him and he started ticking my sides. I cried out in laughter. That boy is crazy. I yelled at him to stop and started kicking. After what felt like hours of our little tickle-fest, he stopped.

A serene face came over him. He bent down just like many times before. Inches away from my face, was his. Doesn't he understand? I can't go through this again.

"Stop." I had commanded him to do something. That simple action that I had cut off would have made me forget about all that I needed to do. This was not the time for that, especially not this one. Sure, I wanted to just forget, but it would resurface again.

"Sorry," he said back as both of our faces turned pink.

I fanned my face saying, "Wow, it's so stuffy in here." I shouldn't embarrass him like that. No matter what he did to me, I was a higher person.

Being the first to stand up, I lead the way back to the living room. I plopped myself down on the loveseat. I felt self-conscious as Shade gracefully took a seat next to me.

"About everything yesterday, I understand," I started.

"You do?" he said, curious to what I had to say.

Taking a sudden interest to my clammy hands, I answered. "Yes. You like Rein. Many people like her. It's alright if I'm not-"

"Really, Fine? After all this time and you still think that I like your twin sister? I thought you knew that I love you. I just admitted it. I'm serious," he said solemnly.

"I don't believe you. Why were you looking at her all the times these days? You haven't even talked to me. Do you understand how nervous a girlfriend gets? No, I suppose not," I said and huffed to show him just how annoyed I really was with him.

"Oh, someone's getting jealous," Shade teased. Was it really the time for that? I glared at him and whatever he was going to say was hindered. "I have a surprise for you. I can't tell you yet." I had no clue if this was supposed to be a good thing, but he said it like it was.

"I'm not gonna ask. Bring this 'surprise' here now." He had better gotten me an amazing surprise or else he was going to get it.

"It should be here right about... now," he said as the doorbell rang. Shade ran to the door as I just stared at him dumbfounded. After all this time and the reason that he's so distant from me is because of a surprise! Was he bipolar? Now I was just angry.

"Shade, after all this time that you ignored me, you want me to be happy for a surprise?" I yelled at him.

I wanted to say more, but my rant was stopped short by someone I had least expected to come running through the door. It was Rein herself. Next to her was Bright carrying a box that for some reason, had holes poked through the top.

Bright handed to box to Shade. As Shade was about to give it to me, he said, "Careful! Fragile cargo that you're holding here." Still, this boy cares more about an object than his girlfriend.

I set the box on the floor and didn't know what to expect. I kneeled next to it. "Can I open it?" I asked no one in particular.

"Fine, open the present!" Rein called from behind me.

I cautiously opened the box. Something with blonde fur jumped up at me. I just had enough time to put the top of the box next to me before I was tackled to the floor. Thank my smart brain for buying and setting up a rug on the floor or else I would have (a) cracked my skull or (b) gotten a concussion.

From the corners of my eyes, I saw a huge mess of fur just collapsed on me. It was a panting dog. Shade had bought me a dog! "Oh my god! Thank you so much!" I said as I picked up the dog and began sitting up. "I can't believe you did this for me! I'm a terrible girlfriend. Just earlier today I though that you were going to break up with me!" I felt my eyes begin to water.

"Rein, help! I don't know what to do with crying girls," I heard Shade say as I buried my face in the dog's fur. It was a small golden retriever. Here, I pretended to sniffle and I knew that Rein knew exactly what I was going to do. As Shade put his arms around me as a sign of comfort, I turned around and gave him a big smile that radiated off my face.

"You little liar," Shade said to me as he tapped my nose with his index finger.

"That's what you love me for," I answered coolly.

"Touché."

"Before you too go all 'I love you' on me, let me tell you, you have a new dog to name," Rein said as Bright coughed.

"Oh right," I said as I looked for my new golden retriever.

It was wondering around and stopped at the kitchen. "I'll name you Kibou- Hope."

"That's nice. You better stop the puppy if you don't want it eating all of your chocolate and getting sick," Bright said from behind me.

"No! My chocolate will be gone AND my dog will get sick? That needs to be prevented," I said as I started to get up.

"Fine, the same as always. The chocolate first," Rein had teased me.

"That's my girl," Shade said as he kissed my forehead.

Walking into the kitchen, I saw my dog moving in circles around the dinner table. It looks like the dog has the same appetite as the owner. I'll need to be buying this little puppy a lot of dog food and treats soon. I sighed thinking about all of the extra bills that I would be paying, unless I gave up some of my sweets.

I brought Kibou back to the living room and noticed that both Shade and Bright were missing.

"Where did they go?" I asked Rein as she walked towards me. She reached out to take my puppy. I handed her (Kibou) over.

"They're down stairs bringing all of Kibou's stuff up," she said giving me a small smile. I realized why so many boys liked her. I knew before, but she had reminded me. It was her sweet personality and smiles that she gave everyone. I knew that I shouldn't be thinking like that because I already felt the jealousy bubbling up inside of me. I couldn't help it though. Even my boyfriend used to like her. She was everything that I wasn't. It was so frustrating having a sister that was better at everything than you were.

I felt a pair of arms wrap around my waist. Apparently, I was so lost in thought that I hadn't noticed the door open and Shade set down Kibou's boxes next to me. I tensed before knowing that Shade had sneaked up behind me. I turned my head slightly so I could see him. He whispered "Hey," into my ear sending shivers to run down my arms. I leaned back into him.

"Hey back," I said as all the dark feelings towards Rein melted away. She had a good boyfriend and wouldn't be coming for Shade. I was just so insecure, but having Shade holding me made me feel like I was supposed to be here.

"So, do you want to see what I bought for our puppy?" he asked me, slowly releasing my from his grip. I didn't respond. He would see. I walked with him to the boxes that needed to be unpacked.

I took each thing out and looked at all of them. They all had an indigo or pink color scheme. It was cute. It was Shade's way of saying "I ship us". He was a really sweet guy and I loved him for it.

"I love it!" I exclaimed before I turned around to kiss his cheek. I knew that it wasn't cheap buying all the stuff that he did. Hardly anything was these days.

"I'm glad you do. Know that I'll do anything for you," he said, his voice gentle.

"The same goes for me," I said as I realized that I would die for him.

"Sorry to break it up, but we'll be leaving now," Bright said dragging Rein with him.

"Bye, lovebirds and little Kibou!" she said as she kissed Kibou's fur.

"See you guys soon," I said as they left my apartment.

I twirled around to face Shade.

"May I have this dance, my lady?" he asked me.

"But there's no music," I answered. "How am I supposed to dance, kind sir?" It was funny playing along with Shade's act.

"We don't need music."

"Okay, then."

Just turning around, we swirled and moved to the sound of the rain pattering on the windows outside. It was romantic and was just all that I wanted at the moment. Over time, Hope had decided to learn how to sit on the couch. She was such a cute dog.

"Shade, what happens to Kibou when we break up? Are you going to keep her or will I?"

"Kibou?" he said his eyebrow raised.

"Our dog." He "oh'ed" as he realized what I was talking about.

"Fine, how did you get to this point? I don't plan on breaking up."

"That's just the thing. No one plans on breaking up."

"I know I'm not going to become separated from you," he said spinning me.

"You can't say that," I uttered back.

"You can't say that we're breaking up," Shade said.

"Why?" I asked.

"Because I love you." He began to dip me and leaned down.

"I love you too," I mouthed against his lips as we kissed.

Our kiss, however was stopped short because of Kibou. It seemed that she wanted more of our attention. She jumped up and started barking. As we pulled away, I bent down to pat Kibou.

"We have such a great dog, no?" Shade said with some sarcasm.

"You brought her here," I retorted and stuck my tongue out.

"You have a point. So am I going to get my kiss?" my endearing boyfriend asked.

I pretended to think over my choices and said "I don't know, ask your dog." I gave Shade a chaste peck on the lips and walked into the kitchen with my golden retriever at my heel. Opening a bag of dog treats, I handed one to Kibou. I took one more out and sealed the package.

Going to the couch, I saw Shade. Still standing, I threw the dog treat at him. Before he could catch it, Kibou ate it in mid-air.

As Shade pouted, I took one look at his face and fell on my butt laughing. It wasn't nice, but a girlfriend had to be amused once in a while.

"It's sad that you think that me pouting is funny," Shade said as he helped me up.

I was still chuckling as I said, "I'm sorry. You look so un-Shade-like."

"Oh really. I think that when you're laughing you look the best." Oh crap, not again, I thought as the smile fell off my face.

Picking me up and bringing me to the couch, Shade kneeled down on the floor next to me and began tickling. I begged for him to stop and had my best attempt punching and kicking. I was struggling to get away from him.

This time when he stopped, he rested his forehead on top of mine. "Should I stop?" he said mocking me.

Indignantly, I said "No." I sat up as he kissed me. I ran my fingers through his hair as he held me in place. I felt comfortable with Shade. Most of the time, he was better than my sweets and this time, he was.

* * *

**Wow, that was 2,700+ words. That felt good. So tell me what you thought. **

**I would like to thank a few people. **

**To:**

**Sora Suzagamori- always being the first to read all of my works and critiquing what I needed to do.**

**hanazaki462anime- my former editor and the best that there was**

**Ai Sakura- for all the reviews and encouragement you sent me (I think that you should create an FFN account)**

**Jo710- for being the one that I can talk to about and a great supporter always reviewing**

**All my other reviewers**

**IF ANYONE WANTS TO TALK ABOUT HOW IGNORANT/STUPID/IDIOTIC/CONFUSING BOYS ARE, feel free to PM me or review.**

**Signed,**

**Ivy ^-^**


End file.
